So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
