waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize