Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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