Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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