when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
