let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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