She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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