Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
