I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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