tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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