Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
