is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
