shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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