Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
