The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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