awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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