I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish you could order shots online.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
