sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize