chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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