She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
