I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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