apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
