This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
