Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
