I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
