So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
