I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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