i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
