yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize