You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
