I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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