you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
