no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
