so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
