And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
