cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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