I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
