It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
