a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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