She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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