just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just had sex bonerless
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
