just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
