I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
