Non-Jews are for practice
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
