Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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