Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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