A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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