Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The Olympian is in my bed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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