Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Duck Duck Cougar?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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