There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
