i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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