I think i sorta joined a cult last night
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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