My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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