I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
