this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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