If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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