can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
