i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
