Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
