We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
