After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
