once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize